If you don’t know jack about luxury vodka then fake it until you make it.  Below is a list of the top five most ultra luxe vodka bottles in the world, in no particular order. School yourself and learn how to drink with the big boys.

DIVA Premium Vodka
Diva Premium Vodka is triple-distilled and made with the finest spring water by Blackwood Distillers in Scotland. First filtered through the finiest Nordic birch charcoal, then through fine sand crushed diamonds and gemstones. By the end DIVA is filtered down to 0.5 microns, which is a standard of purity that few luxury vodkas rival. Judges at the World Spirits Festival in Australia explained the taste as  “extraordinarily smooth with a long, luscious finish” and at the San Francisco Spirits Competition judges deemed DIVA, "vodka with attitude."

In addition to its clean, fresh taste, DIVA bottles come with, well, a shiny marketing hook.  Inside each bottle is a tube that contains a selection of fine jewels. A standard off-the-shelf bottle has cubic zarconia, topaz and amethyst Swarovski crystals, nothing to write home about. However, more premium bottles can be customized to include precious jewels. DIVA invites affluent clients to create their own unique jeweled bottle of vodka. No two bottles are ever alike and a 750 ml bottle of DIVA vodka ranges from $100 upwards to, oh, $1,000,000. Make a bracelet, its gimmick-y but they all are.

Snow Queen Vodka
You’ve probably never heard of Snow Queen Vodka but that’s the point. Snow Queen isn’t the best-known vodka but Imbibe Magazine called it the Best Overall Vodka in 2007. Made from organic wheat grown in the Russian Steppes, along the heart of the Silk Route in Eastern Europe, with artesian spring water from the foothills of the Himalayas. The Kazakhstan distillers use only Kazakh birch charcoal in the distillation process which produces one of the smoothest vodkas in the world. The premium bottle has been adorned with 10 gold, seven silver and eight bronze medals for excellence. Snow Queen is ultra rare and marketed only by word of mouth, a 750 ml bottle is $70.

Kauffman Vodka
In the world of vodka it is rare to speak of vintages, a term conventionally reserved for wine. Nonetheless, Russian businessman Mark Kauffman wanted to produce a vodka that would rank among the best in the world. Kauffman produced Kauffman Vodka which is said to be on par with some of the world’s finest wines. Kauffman Vodka is the first vodka to be produced only in vintage years when the wheat crop is at its best. Even at best, Kauffman bottles are only produced in small batches to ensure high quality.

Made in one of Russia’s top distilleries, the process is strictly controlled to the highest standards. Kauffman Vodka is filtered through birch charcoal and quartz sand, as many as 14 times. Keep in mind that most high-end commercial vodkas only go through three to five distillation processes. Having only been produced since 2000, Kauffman Vodka is already known as one of the best vodkas on the spirit market. By 2004 Kauffman luxury vodka had won two gold medals of three in the International Wine & Spirit Challenge. A bottle of Kauffman Vodka is $150.

Ultimat Vodka
Not to be outdone by the Russians, the Poles have been working majorly hard to produce the world’s best luxury vodka. The Polish Ultimat Vodka experience begins with a hand-blown cobalt blue and crystal bottle, that comes with a crystal and cork stopper. It takes 24 protracted hours to produce a single bottle of Ultimat Vodka and you only pay $140, that’s a bargain. Ultimat Vodka is made from a blend of potato, wheat and rye which makes it the only vodka in the world to combine all three ingredients. Like the ingredients, the distillation process is also one-of-a kind. Ultimat Vodka uses a ceramic and candle filtration processes that allegedly take out all of the impurities. The Ultimat master distiller oversees every production process and personally guarantees all elements of the vodka. What’s left is a luxury vodka with a smooth, rich taste and a clean aftertaste.

Gold Flakes Supreme Vodka
Gold is a standard and the marketing hook behind Gold Flakes Supreme Vodka. The name may not sound luxe but this French vodka is high-end enough to stand up to the best luxury brands in the world. Gold Flakes Supreme is quadruple-distilled with the best all-natural ingredients, like clear underground spring water. After distillation 24-karat edible gold flakes are mixed into the bottle. The result seems to awe people at cocktail parties, like fish to shiny hooks. While the point is taken, the French Vodka comes across as nouveau riche compared to the rest. A bottle of Gold Flakes Supreme Vodka is just $60, dazzle away!

These are five of the best bottles of luxury vodka on the market right now. The vodka brands come from all over the world and exemplify the highest standards of quality and class. Culture yourself, figure out which suits you best and order it from now on. Any one of the five will reaffirm high luxe statur.

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