Canyon Ranch Miami is Deserted

Canyon Ranch is promoted as one of the best spas and wellness centers in the country, having two locations in Tucson, Arizona, and Lenox, Massachusetts well established.  A third location in Miami Beach has been in the works since 2005 and was built beachfront, where the old Carillon Hotel once was. The Canyon Ranch Hotel/Resort/Residences finally opened earlier this year, although you wouldn’t know it. Canyon Ranch has been empty,  demographic faux pas or 21st Century Depression? Only time will tell.

WHat we do know is that Canyon Ranch has about 150 luxury suites on the hotel side, ranging from $300 to $1,800 a night. Canyon Ranch bills itself as "the first condo, luxury hotel and wellness spa of its kind!” While the 70,000-square foot spa is massive, we aren’t convinced. Canyon Ranch strongly markets the holistic benefits of “a deeper wellness, a healing energy, where body meets soul" to draw in the health conscious rather than self-obsessed.  Having said that, at this point, Canyon Ranch wants anybody by any means. Point in case, the Miami Beach Canyon Ranch is the only one that allows alcohol. While the remote countryside Canyon Ranches in Arizona and the Berkshires remain serious detoxifying centers, the Miami location couldn’t afford to do be alcohol-free. Canyon Ranch replied, " “Our beverage offerings are reflective of our beliefs,” the drinks menu intones. “Research indicates that alcohol, when consumed in moderation, can help people live long and well.” And their brand of alcoholic beverages are better for the environment: “100% organic spirits and beer, along with sustainable, organic and biodynamic wines free of artificial pesticides and fertilizers.” Believe what you want, we all know that Miami Beach is the place to party first and relax second. Canyon Ranch had to get on board fast or sink. The moral of the story is, you can get drunk off organic wine at the Canyon Ranch spa but you can’t get a soda. The spa offers every service imaginable but it isn’t much different from other spas on Miami Beach, just farther down Collins.

The Canyon Ranch Hotel is  over-designed to the point of being cheesy and reminiscent of a nice retirement home. The food is ultra health-conscious and calorically marked which we appreciate but it’s just too little too late. If you want to really detox at a Canyon Ranch opt for one of the first two locations; if you want to party in Miami Beach pick a better hotel, like the Setai, Shoreclub or soon to open W Hotel. If you want to come to Miami Beach and not interact with any other living human-beings, besides hotel staff, then go to Canyon Ranch Miami.